Scientology

Now, you know the world is one buggered up place when there is such a thing as Scientology allowed in it. I mean, seriously, it has to be the most stupid religion ever conceived by a science fiction writer (Funny in itself).

Now most of the religion's practices seem a little bit odd but nothing out of the ordinary, you've got your whole soul thing going on. Auditing seems a bit strange, which a strange contraption being able to diagnose mental health issues. Unfortunately, as you go up the food chain in Scientology, things start to go screwy.

Just picture the setting. The world. 75 million years ago. Got a good picture of it. Loads of molten crap everywhere? Good. SUDDENLY BANG, here comes everyone's favourite dictator Xenu of the galactic confederacy. He brought shit loads of Aliens with him. He then placed them round volcanoes (?) and proceeded to Nuke them. Nice. I prefer individual kills in a mass slaughter, but hey, when your Xenu, you can get away with things like this. Of course, their souls were then left on the planet, and they wreck chaos today.

Must say, I am regularly chucking them out of my garden. Bloody alien souls, they are everywhere!

Not only this, but these aliens travelled in style. Just check out this ultra modern space ship they had going on:















Well bugger me, that's Immense, look at all the hyper drives. Great stuff.

Of course, at the time of writing this amazing true story, he was drunk and was on drugs. Ahem.

Now also, according to what I have read, he did this on a fair few planets. According to Wikipedia:


"76 planets of aliens filled with 178 billion aliens per planet totals 13.528 trillion aliens that were packaged and blown up by Xenu. Hubbard did not elaborate on the number of space planes required to transport a population of some 13.5 trillion people. The Douglas DC-8, said to be an exact copy of Xenu's spaceships, seats a maximum of 250 people and has a payload of only around 40–50,000 kg, depending on the specific model. This means that, assuming the Galactic citizens had bodies about the same as humans, and the space planes were the same scale as DC-8s, only about 600 to 700 human-sized frozen bodies could have been transported on each such space plane. To accomplish the deed in a single trip, it would therefore have required around 54.1 billion planes with everyone seated or 19.3 billion planes with frozen bodies packed more efficiently."

Ah Ha! I see. 13 trillion aliens on one ship. Amazing stuff again, he defies the laws of physics (well he is rather 1337 tbh lolz!1!1)

Also noticeable, is that firing hundreds of nukes on the earth might leave some sort of mark. Of course, Xenu used his magic eraser to get rid of these, he is Xenu after all.

There is so much more of why this so called religion is so obviously utter drivel that it would be hard to sum it up. However I'll do my best:
Brainwashing
Sales Tactics (gotta increase those religious sales)
Criminal Activities (must of had some mini aliens stuck on these criminals)
Harassment of enemies. (Uh-oh)
The fact it's a cult.
Their campaign against people who actually try to help mentally ill people, by using scientifically approved methods
The various quotes of Hubbard, which lead many to believe he was in it for the money
Their hatred of the Internet
Etc.

Could go in depth but I really don't have the time.

So to fully sum up:
Scientology - A religion in which a alien-tyrant killed 13 trillion aliens across the galaxy on different planets, by placing them round volcanoes and then nuking them, and then their souls lock onto us and make us unhappy.

Well done, you've just invented Weapons grade bullshit. Be ashamed if you think this could be true.